Day 109: De-cluttering Laundry for 2012

Everywhere I look these days, I find too many things that have a home and it is not in it and then there is stuff that is just lingering around because it doesn't have a home yet. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me to find homes for these "things".

I knew when we brought our mini-humans into the world that along with them would come stuff. I swore to myself that all of their "stuff" would be contained in their own rooms. Did it happen? Nope. As with everything else, I am finding it everywhere. Be it the 3 year old, who wants to play with his toys in the living room or the 9 month old who needs his own containment area for his own safety. So where do I find myself lately?

I wish that I could blame it on the holidays, birthdays and other special occasions but what it honestly boils down to is...I would rather play with my kids than do chores. We only have one chance to have this one day and well laundry can wait. The only problem is...I spend the day picking up from everything that we have been playing with that I just don't have the energy to pick up after the normal stuff.

One of my New Year's resolutions was to keep a handle on the laundry. For the month of January, I look back and think that I was pretty successful. Then on Monday, I walked into the laundry room. Ok I lied. I had to push and pull my way into the laundry room. I have been doing laundry for 4 people and a potty training puppy for 3 whole days now and well, after cleaning up the bedrooms I can probably add another day or two. Embarassed...yes...tired...yes...but I think that the whole neighborhood just decided to drop their laundry off at my house and pray that I would just not notice.

It's not that our children have too many clothes, because that is not the case. Each of them had a load and a half. I could possibly see the fact that we had guests in the house for well over a week, that the number of towels, blankets and sheets grew. I can also see that the children and I were gone for almost a week so we have that laundry too, and I can also see that we have a puppy that we are potty training right now. Do Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer and I have too many clothes...yes.

So what am I doing to simplify this task I desperately abhor?
A new system is going into play around here at Chez Stoneford. Monk is old enough to turn his clothes right side out when he takes them off and well Mr. BBH and I can too. So, I am instilling a your own laundry load system. I found that doing it this way, affords less time to fold and an easier time of actually putting the clothes away. No more sorting into five or six different piles then taking the to their desired locations. wash, dry, fold, go to ONE specific place...Load by Load laundry! Wish me luck!

I also went through all of the kids clothes and dumped. I had one empty laundry basket and into it went the clothes that were too small or I just would never let them wear. Since the kids clothes are easier to monitor...they are constantly changing sizes, I really don't have to worry about out of season clothes for them. Mr. BBH and me....different story. I went through all of my clothes in drawers and dumped. I found Maternity clothes still hiding out in there as well as clothes that I should never wear again. We need to donate these things before they go out of style and no one wants to wear them! When Mr. BBH gets home tonight I am praying that he will do the same! I am also hoping that we can tackle doing this to the Master Closet this weekend.

Today, I also tackled the linen closet. Gone went the ratty pilled towels, the sheets that we never use and those pillowcases that no longer match the sheet sets and the comforters that haven't seen a bed in a year. 

Discosure: I can't part with my down comforters though. Just because it was really pleasant this winter...in to a space bag they will go. 

Now back to that linen closet...it serves a dual purpose, not only does it hold linens, but the top rack is home for those taken away toys for naughty children. Better Homes and Gardens recommended a plastic container library. With this concept along with our taken toys, we will just dump them into the container and bring them out on rainy days. Personally, I prefer for Monk to earn them back, but I am just going to do that for the entertainment center dumping ground. We will see how it goes. Hey if anything, there will be less toys to pick up in the playroom!

Before leaving to go for Grandma's birthday and Grammy's surgery, I decluttered the play room. The trash bags came out when the kids were napping and into them went those toys that I can stand, the ones that are too young for Monk but too old for the Gator and reorganized and simplified. I toted them up to the attic and they are awaiting the next consignment sale to find their forever homes! I was recently reading Real Simple to try to find ways to simplify our life. I hope that I got something from it, but actually applying it will be another story.

Where I am in the De-cluttering world...
one 1/2 Bath, one coat closet, two kitchen counter dump sites, one pantry, two freezers, one top of the fridge, one playroom, 3 dressers, children's bedroom, one sitting room and one laundry room! Yeah, I wish I could say the garage or storage room, but hey some of us just can't change overnight but we are on the right path...I hope.

For my locals, the end of April is Alley Cats & Angels semi-annual yard sale....

Day 17: Being ME vs. Other Parenting

When I was in college a friend gave me a copy of this poem and it has always stayed with me... Always in the back of my mind when I look at any child. 

Law Nolte, Dorothy (1924 - 2005) Children learn what they live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

I understand that there are very few people like myself in the world. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I do not have a penis in this sense but I have a hard time understanding why people just can't be totally honest with each other. Granted, I am brash and blunt most of the time. Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer says that I do not have a mute button when I give honest answers. I feel that I would be doing a huge disservice to my children if I sugar coated things. If I weren't forthright with them, it would be as if I am telling them they need to be honest human beings...but only in certain circumstances. This is just the tip of my iceberg on that subject.

In our home there is nothing on a child's level that can not be played with. Everything in their reach can be picked up, played with and learned about. We do not prevent our children and those that visit our home from a teaching experience. We want our children to know how things work, what they do, what they do not do and what they can become. We encourage active imaginative play and not with just toys. We support well rounded learning and vocabulary boosting. We do not baby talk to our children. If our child wants to try to do something, we encourage it. I am not saying that we are letting them jump off the banister or do anything that could potentially maim them for life!  If they want to taste something, we encourage it. They are individual human beings. Just because I or we may not like to do or eat something, does not mean that this separate person capable of their own individual likes and dislikes will or won't.

Being a SAHM offers me the advantages of choosing what I deem appropriate for my children to learn. I am fortunate in this instance. I understand that parents who opt to send their children to a formalized preschool or daycare, believe in their heart that they have made the correct choice of appropriateness as to what their children are exposed to whether it was by necessity or not. I also understand that I can not control what they are going to be introduced to when they start school, but we as parents will be involved.

The point of my parenting rant is not the actuality of being a SAHP or not. This is not a war between the working parents...just because you work hard, bring home a paycheck and I do not does not by any mean, mean that I do not work just as hard or even harder than you...DRAMA. The fundamental of my argument is how children are being raised today. Many of them are taught that the world owes them something. This attitude is primarily based on bribing children in my mind. If you do what I ask of you right now then you will get ____ in return. How about teaching your children that you mean what you say and leave the bribery out.

Disclosure: I will include that a reward system for long-term success for attaining certain goals is appreciated in my mind such as acts in Potty Training.

Parents are so apt today to give in and forget that a child is learning everything everyday to which the parents have known their whole life. Can a parent honestly say that they have bribery arguments with their boss or anyone in the real world? Re-teaching the parent to actually say what they mean and mean what they say when it comes to parenting I feel is necessary to raise a capable, self assured, contributing and productive child.

We, as parents spend so much time teaching our children what they can't do rather than letting them learn what they can do. A capable child, understands that making their own choices is part of everyday life. I am not saying that I am offering my children my keys to drive my car. I am, however notioning to the fact that all actions are choices and most of those choices have consequences. Life isn't always fair, every parent or non-parent alike knows this. However, if you give your children time for appropriateness, you will spend less time telling them no, when it is not the appropriate situation of sorts. Leading by example, getting down, experiencing life through their eyes and teaching your child manners will give them the cornerstone of success in life.

We have an art table in our kitchen that is stocked with paper, markers, crayons, stickers, playdoh and tools as well as colored pastas, yarn and glue. It is fully accessible for him to get creative with these supplies as long as they are done at the art table. It is there for getting creative. When I set things out for him to "experiment" with, we do this together, messes are contained and are ok. Showing him that this is the appropriate place to make a mess.

Yesterday, we had a play date for Monk here at our house. There were 3 other children in addition to Monk. So, these 3 other children at the play date kept looking up at their mothers to see if today's messy activity was ok. Monk was happily playing along and getting royally messy. Stated in our posted play date was the fact that we were going to get messy, so bring a change of clothes. Over and over these moms kept asking me "are you sure this is ok?" I kept saying to these moms that it is ok for the kids to get messy; "pour, dump, taste, & try new things" I told the kids. They (the moms) looked at me like I was nuts. In return, I tried my hardest not to look at them back with the look of "you don't let your children do this?" Do these parents not talk to their children about where they are going and what they are going to do when they get there? Or better yet, standing there speechless at their child...not one of them asked their children questions about what they were doing, making ect. No engagement. Maybe I am wrong in my thinking about them as parents, but their children had a very hard time engaging in messy play, it was if they thought that by participating they would "get in trouble."

In our family, we learn new things together, make a mess together and together we clean it up. If you don't do this, how will they learn what stuff feels like, tastes like, imagine...create and to clean up their messes? It's as if you gave a child a box of crayons without outlets to utilize them, duh they are going to think of something to use them on and most likely you are going to have to clean their artwork off the walls. In doing this, will they have a sense of self accomplishment, self assurance, self awareness? Yes, but you will probably end up frustrated, portraying your frustration to your child thus unknowingly telling them that this accomplishment...their masterpiece is not acceptable in your mind.  Thus teaching them that it is right to be shameful and wrong to have confidence in what they are capable of doing. I know that there can't be just a few of us parents in the world! You know those of us who want our children to know what a tree feels like rather than looking at it out a window or on a computer!

It just astounds me the way that parents will talk down to a child yet expect them to act like mature adults all the time and then be embarrassed at ultimate meltdowns. We knew what type of parents we wanted to be before we became parents. I know this is true of most parents. There are things that we as grown "children" think that our parents could have done differently and we as the "parents" now are out to change. There are things that we as "parents" will instill in our children as our parents did that we will pass along. We as parents want the best for our children...for some it is the best clothes, schools, toys, you know what you can buy your child. The best thing in life that you can give your child is your actions, attention, patience, kindness and love; you know the stuff you can't buy but teach. The hindsight of relegating your child to the back burner in life and not being that parent you knew you wanted to be to your child is...your decision.

Day 9: Consumerism Challenge: Cardboard boxes are like gold

Consumerism doesn't get to get the best of me today, a little creativity goes a long way.

We, like most parents despise the word can't and lately Monk has been using it alot. The "I can't because..." is really getting annoying. Over the last oh 6-8 months Monk has grown a fascination with knights. By mistake he watched the movie Shrek and well, since Shrek is a knight and saves the princess, you can see how Monk would want to do the same.

Yesterday, we went to a play date with Monk's best friend Edge and he loves playing knights. This morning Monk came down stairs and wailed those dreadful "I can't words" this time being followed by "be a knight, because I don't have a shield!". No knight gear in our house...or so Monk thinks. I had actually picked him up a set of armor and shields at a consignment sale a few months back to give him as a Christmas present. I couldn't just go running to the garage and get it out. What lesson would that teach my son? When we think we can't or we don't have just go buy one?  That mentality is what I definitely don't want my children to express. Ever. We have strived with our children to let very few branded characters in our house, so that we can get through shopping without having the screaming child yelling about how they want the "Little Red Devil...a.k.a. Elmo" and not being able to leave or being so utterly embarrassed that we would have to buy it just to shut him up. Most parents will never admit the fact that they have had to do this, but we haven't and never plan on it either.

Since cardboard boxes are like gold around here at Chez Stoneford out came the scissors, foil, & tape. Voila in about 20 minutes, Monk had a shield! I was smart enough in the fact that when I was cutting out the one, I actually cut out two, just in case Monk wanted to play with anyone, but primarily I knew Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer would want one too. So, Monk was happy with my creation, a shield with a giant Autobot logo on it. For those of you who don't know what an Autobot logo is, it's the Transformers logo. I live in a house with all men and since Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer is a self professed 80's cartoon freak, he of course would want to pass on his Transformer obsession to his sons.

Disclosure: The day Monk crawled up into bed and wanted to watch TV with Daddy, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer's heart totally jumped at the fact that his son wanted to watch...THE ROBOTS! Then the day came when Grandma & Mommy came home from the consignment sale, Optimus Prime Robot in hand, Daddy jumped up opened up his toy cabinet to get his old Optimus Prime, and I caught the two of them having a Transformers battle on the couch..."Look Mommy we're playing Robots, Daddy's is the Daddy Optimus Prime and mine is the little boy." Ok, my heart melted a little too. Then came the day when after Monk's 3rd birthday, we took him to the toy store, gave him 1/2 of his "Birthday Money" and he wanted to buy a new Robot, just like Daddy's toys.

So back to not running out to the store to buy knight gear...

Monk came upstairs and again uttered the words, "I can't be a knight because I don't have a sword!". Stumped and almost about to have to blow our Consumerism Challenge, I stopped looked around, and then remembered Nana had bought Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer a set of light sabers for him to play with Monk. So I bent down and told him, "You are right, you don't have a sword...You have a LIGHT SABER!" All was right with the mini-human's world. He came down stairs and since Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer is still on his Fur-cation (he is furloughed from work right now), Monk asked him to play knights. Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer looked at me and I told him to take 10 minutes and play knights. So what does Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer say to me? "I can't play knights, I don't have a shield." Boom, not as cool as Monk's but I had at least had the forethought that he might "need" one.

Consumerism avoided! I may actually get away with re-consigning the knight gear! Woo Hoo! Cool points to this Mommy today! With a little creativity, you can make a child's day without having to spend any $$$ and turn the dreadful "I can't" into "I can, I am!"

Consumerism Challenge: 0
Us:1

Day 6: Saying Good Bye to some toys

Our children are no different than most children about their toys. They have toys they love and toys that they think they to keep because they occupy space and consistency within their environment is paramount. In our efforts to de-clutter, we have come up with a list of things that Monk doesn't really play with. I have thought about just migrating the stuff out of the house when he is asleep, but being at that the age of which he notices just about everything, this might not be solution to have a copacetic household. He has become fond of the Toy Story movies and well since seeing the 3rd one, donating toys and throwing away broken ones is a wretched sin punishable by bouts of tantrums and sobbing. Just 2 things that Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer and I just don't cope very well with. Now please, we do not bow down to the mini-human in the house. It's quite the opposite. We don't respond at all except for telling him "we don't hear that voice" and "inappropriate behavior". I have even resulted in taking a video of him throwing the fit and playing it back to him later in the day. We talk about how ridiculous it is to act this or that way. Most times he obliges, but his genes are flowing with a tantamount of stubbornness; he totally gets it from Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer ;).

Good Bye Train Table...This is how our conversation went...

Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer: "Why aren't we doing this while he is asleep?"
Me: "He has to learn that as he grows up and new toys come into the house, old toys need to find a new home."
Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer: "This is so not going to bode well."
...I went up to the playroom
Monk: "ooohhh my train table... what are you doing Mommy?"
DUN DUNT DUN
Me: "Cleaning it up, so that we can get it out of the playroom."
Monk: ...the dreaded "Why?"
...immediately the theme song to Jaws starts playing in my head.
Me: "We have to make room for the toys you got for your birthday, so since you like to play with your trains on the floor, we are going to sell this."
...eyes bug out of his head and hands go on the hips
Monk: "No, MOMMY! You can't get rid of my train table. It's mine and no other little boy can have it! He can't use it. He can't have it."
Me: "Well Monk, we have a new train rug in the garage that we are going to put down instead."  
...Monk promptly got into the table which I had taken the top off and began to stomp around. 

I reiterated the fact that we had a "NEW" rug to use instead. Hoping that he did not put a hole in the table making it unsellable. I finally had to lift the stomping mini-human out, take him down to the garage and show him this "new" rug. So this "new" rug has actually been hiding in our house for well over a year and a half. Coming out for car play and going due to the cats liking it a little too much (apparently the rubber backing is an instant cat attracter for sniffing, scratching, and almost getting peed on. Since the we keep the playroom door closed, keep your fingers crossed no cat gets left in!). So, while I was in the garage with Monk getting this "new" rug, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer carried it out. Monk carried the rug up to the playroom, I let him pick where he wanted it to go and then all was right in the world again. Whew, tantrum avoided. Rug now loved again. Do the tracks and trains come out to play on it? Nope, the rug is an Aircraft carrier today.

The train table is posted for sale and is awaiting it's new rightful owner! Horray, Queen's "We are the Champions" was playing in my head as I went to bed.

Consumerist Challenge: 0
Major space vampire: 0
Us:1