Day 106: January Challenge Update

It being the last day of January, here is how our month long Challenge went.

Friday nights have become family movie night. We rented a movie either out of the redbox or blockbuster express box. Both free of course, made some popcorn, blew up the air mattress and had fun filled family Fridays! Some went well others didn't but that is just what you get when you rent a "haven't seen before" movie.

Monk now looks fondly forward to Saturdays. No matter where we "drag" him on our errands, he knows that after all is said and done, we will sit down picnic style in the living room and play board games until well we all get bored!

This past week my grandmother had heart surgery (she is doing great, BTW) but we were in SC from Tuesday through ummm, Saturday. We HAD to get home, why, GAMENIGHT! Monk kept saying to me when we were packing up, "Come'on Mommy! We have to get home to Daddy, it's game night!" or "We are never going to get home, we are going to miss gamenight" and my favorite "Sorry Grandma but we have to go today, it's gamenight"! Wow, the insight of my mini-human and his family focus!

I highly recommend incorporating some sort of family to do schedule into your weekly routine. These 2 things, made our family a bit closer and looking forward to spending that time together, plus it didn't cost us a thing!

So how is the Decent Human Being week going? Well, Sunday we went to BJ's and for once (lately) my faith in decency was restored by the man working the customer service desk. Not only was he nice, pleasant but actually was helpful!

Day 101: Trials of being a decent human being

I am a wife, mother, daughter and sister.
I love my family wholeheartedly.
I do not compare, covet or value my life more than someone else.
I live by the golden rules but do not preach my morals on others.
I teach my children right from wrong and am raising them to be decent human beings.
I continue to pay my debts to society and try to live life to it's fullest.

In my years on this earth, I have experienced some of life's greatest joys as well as life's greatest heartbreaks. With that being said... It has taken me awhile to get around to writing today's blog. I have had to really "get in touch" with how I wanted to express and not stand on my soapbox for hours on end.

On Thursday, I went to latch my seat belt into place. This was the first time I couldn't get it to latch. Mind you my car is only 2 years old. We purchased it brand new. Finally after five minutes I got it to lock. I called Mr. BBH for the number of our dealership so that I could make an appointment to get it replaced. I left a message for the service person (SP) and finally got a phone call back a few hours later. This is how our conversation went...

Me: I need to make an appointment to get my car serviced also, please send someone to tow my vehicle.
SP: What is wrong with you vehicle?
Me: The driver's seat belt latch is broken.
SP: I am sorry ma'am but we only send trucks for your car to be towed if it is inoperable.
Me: But sir, I can't drive my car, the seat belt is broken and I have airbags all over my car.
SP: You live about five minutes away, Right?
Me: No sir, I live 13.5 miles away.
SP: Well, that's only about 10 minutes away, you'll be fine. I have people drive their cars in here all the time with broken seat belts.
Me: Does the NTSB know that (brand of car) is having problems with broken seat belts?
SP: ***DUMBFOUNDED*** We are not having a problem with broken seat belts.
Me: Well is the dealership going to pay for the ticket I may get on my way there?
SP: No.
Me: Is the dealership going to pay for my car to be fixed or replaced if I get into an accident on the way there?
SP: No.
Me: What if I die? Is the dealership going to...well sir, you get my point.
SP: Ma'am I can send you a tow truck but that will be on your dime, so I suggest you drive you car in, again you will be FINE. I can fix it in the morning. How early can you be here?
Me: I am going to have to talk to my husband and call you back sir.

Why. Well, firstly, yes I know that I could have driven my car in. I had 2 ways. The first, down a 8 lane divided highway onto a 8 lane divided street for 13.5 miles with cars traveling 70 mph. The second, down a winding rural 2 lane road onto another rural 2 lane road, onto an 8 lane divided street. Both having my children in the car. Did I want to have to explain to the police man why I was not wearing my seat belt in the car with children? No. Did I want my children to see their mother possibly die in front of their eyes? No. See my point, but the man at the dealership didn't have a problem with this. The value of my life and my children's future weren't valid enough for sending tow truck.

Maybe it is just the way I am with letting the slippery slope effect affect my judgement, but safety first. On Mr. BBH's way home, he called his father. A former paramedic, fire fighter and currently Sgt. Det. of the Crime Scene Unit of the Sheriff's office who has been pulling bodies out of cars for ummm about 40 years...for some wisdom. His conclusion...DON'T GET IN THAT CAR! If the airbags implode you are dead.

So Friday morning, Mr. BBH called AAA to come and tow the car to the dealership. He waited to make sure the car was delivered before he went down there to give the SP a piece of his mind. Here is how his conversation went.

BBH: Hello, my car was just towed in.
SP: Yes, it is here. Let's go out to it, because the seat belt is working just fine.
BBH: I can guarantee you it has been failing not only on my wife but on me as well.
It did fail on Mr. BBH earlier that week.
SP: See sir, it is latching. I can't have it fixed if I can't duplicate the problem. For all I know a crumb or an M&M from your kids could have gotten in there an caused it to malfunction.
BBH: I am sorry, but I don't care if you can't duplicate the problem. It is a safety issue with the car and covered under warranty. Can you please have someone look at it to see if that is the issue and needs to be cleaned out then?
SP: It can't be taken apart.
BBH: Then it needs to be replaced.
SP: We don't just take your word for it that is malfunctioning. They just won't let us replace it, but you can pay for it. I can have them put some lube in it.
BBH: I want a new one.
SP: When cars are brought in for broken seat belts, they are clearly broken and just don't fail sometimes. I have to have something broken to replace it.
BBH: I can make that happen then. You told my wife to drive this car in and frankly, I wouldn't drive the car and am not going to until this is fixed. My father has been pulling bodies out of cars for over 40 years for the stupidity of people not wearing their seat belt or for their malfunctioning. I have been reporting on these issues for over 10. Plus, seat belts have been standard in cars for over 30 for safety.
SP: Well I have been fixing them for 20 years and it isn't broken.
At this time, I said excuse me, got behind the wheel and proceeded to latch and unlatch the seat belt. Counting how many times it wouldn't latch. 7. 7 times.
BBH: You really want to compare notes with me or my father? Smart. I brought it here to be fixed. If we go by what you are saying because you can't duplicate the problem I could leave my children with out a father or a mother. I won't accept that.
SP: Did you buy the car here?
BBH: No we bought it in South Carolina
SP: Well take it back to that dealership if you want it fixed or just don't drive it.
BBH: Awesome, great service. Just don't drive it? So you're telling me the warranty is worthless.
Me: Ok, it has malfunctioned 7 times, how many more times do you need me to show you? Look the button isn't even coming back up when it should.
SP: Ok ma'am that's enough. I'll have some one look at it.
US: Thank-you. We again, just need it replaced or if it does have something in it, to be taken out so that we are safe.
SP: I don't have time to argue with you anymore. I have all these other people here with something actually wrong with their car waiting for me. I told you I'll have someone look at it.

So, drive it here, I can't duplicate it...so you must be leading the scam of the century for a new seat belt latch, pay for it but don't drive it, and I don't care if you potentially die so take it back to the state where you bought it from if you want a new seat belt and your concerns aren't valid enough compared to someone else's spark plugs.

Dude, it's under warranty and it doesn't take anything from you to have it replaced. A decent human being wouldn't have their own loved ones let alone themselves be put in that position, nor would they want to experience the tribulations of the BS hoops just to drive safely.

So I have decided to try a little experiment. Over the course of the next week, I am going to take account as to how we are treated by the people in the service industry. In the current economic crisis, you should consider yourself fortunate to have a job, but does having that job have to come at the cost of losing your decency as a human being? 

Day 89: Confessions of Losing Baby Weight

During my first pregnancy I gained 46 lbs. I look back at those pictures with horror now, but I ate what I needed to and when I could. I didn't care...I was growing a life. My sister-in-law tells me that one of her favorite memories of me when I was pregnant with Monk was when she came to visit us and we were having a garage sale. She pulled up into our yard to find us amuck with goods for sale. Then there was me six months pregnant, black pajama pants and black tank top with this trail of white powder down the baby belly in front of me and all over my mouth. What was it? Blue Bird powder doughnuts. I just couldn't get enough of them. It wasn't that I had to have them, it was the whole Lays potato chip concept of "You just can't eat one." Yep confession. But it didn't stop at the doughnuts. Every Friday night and sometimes a couple of other nights during the week it was a fully loaded 1/2 large meat pizza from our local pizzaria. Yep they knew me by name and well confession...still do. But again, it didn't stop at the doughnuts or pizza. That little life I was growing craved prime rib. Not the cheap prime rib that you can just go to Applebee's for. My little monkey wanted $30 prime rib all 10 ounces of it. He caused me to demolish that delicious steak in about 5 minutes.

Some women have the motivation or want to eat healthy throughout their whole pregnancy. They even sell these cookbook geared towards them. I was just not one of them. I was going to eat what I wanted and not worry about it. "They" say that you lose the weight very quickly after the baby is born and nursing will cause it to just fall off even faster.

Well..."They LIED."

It wasn't until Monk was 2 that I finally was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Talk about being depressed over your jean size. But throughout the whole 2 year 10 month ordeal, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer said nothing. What a wonderful guy right! Psst. He gained pregnancy weight too! Hey if you had to eat all that pizza and go to all those must have now restaurants with your wife...but he kept his mouth shut.

For 3 wonderful blessed weeks I relished in the fact that I was finally back to normal...

DUN...DUN...DUN...

The flipping stick turned blue again. It was as if God was saying hope you enjoyed being able to wear a bikini to the beach last weekend the first time in almost 3 years, you worked so hard for it, but now I am going to have you be a fat incubator again. Well turns out his sense of humor wasn't as bad a I thought. During my second pregnancy, again I didn't care what I was eating when I was eating. Heck, I resolved my self to the thought of just being pleasantly plump for the rest of my life...well 2 more years, and that was if it wasn't going to take longer this time. But month after month went by and by then 7 months, I was still in normal jeans. Now, not my pre-pregnancy jeans, but my loosing weight jeans. By month 8 I had to put the pregnancy pants on, but then Gator showed up a month early. Phew, all in all I had only gained 18 lbs and I wasn't doing anything different but chasing a 2.5 year old.

Within 2 weeks I finally understood what "They" meant about losing the baby weight. I was back in regular jeans, but not those pre-preggars yet. It took about 4 months for those to cross my heiny.

So what was I doing differently. Nothing. No Gym. I had no time. Adjusting to having two children was a gigantic hurdle I had to overcome. My house chores grew, trying to find the time to play with my almost 3 year old and a newborn was overwhelming. To the coffee maker I went and I still haven't quite left that habit. I still drink coffee until about 4pm. It's hard keeping up with my little rascals. Finding the time to eat when you are changing diapers, taking your child to the potty, up and down the stairs and constantly moving without stopping except for supper started to worry me. Finally we just looked at our budget, convenience was getting the best of us again and that was just not healthy for our 3 year old much less our nursing baby. So we decided that for our benefit we needed to change our habits.

Looking at our pantry and deciding that to be able to afford to eat healthy we needed to find outlets that afforded us this luxury. Not spending the money on take out was fruitful at first, but when you eat a balanced diet you tend to eat more, because you want a variety of flavors.

What were we particularly buying that wasn't good for us? I came to learn through a friend that margarine, something that I had been led to believe my entire life was good for you happened to be  one molecule away from plastic. Yes. PLASTIC! It was gone immediately. I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't going to put anything that remotely resembled plastic even on a molecular level into my mini-human's body. Then we realized that we were living off of soda. Before we got married we went the no-carb diet craze and well it worked for Mr. BBH but not so much for me. I needed my pasta. But the point is we then changed what we were drinking and boom, weight began to fall off. So now, what do we do, soda is out unless it is a treat and tea has replaced it. More and more we changed what we were buying...for the better.

We utilize our farmer's market for our in season fruits and veggies. We step out of our comfort zone and get stuff we have never tried before. Mr. BBH was never a fan of sweet potatoes until we started shopping at our farmer's market. He said they were just too sweet for anything that had the word potato in it. There are white sweet potatoes, purple sweet potatoes, hybrid potatoes. Learning to cook veggies instead of opening them from a can and figuring out different ways to make them more palatable became a quest and now a passion.

During our Consumerist Challenge we really took note as to what we were buying. Having to demolish all those hidden places of your pantry and freezer really makes you take notice as to what you have. Still a few month's later, our stand up freezer and pantry(s) are still not restocked completely or even near that. We just took notice as to what we are willing to spend the money on and what we are not.

First things first, I have to save more than I spend at the grocer. It doesn't matter what we need for the particular week or what is on sale. This is just a no-brainer.

Since everything sells in cycles, we can opt out of a lot of food options that are not nutritious for our family. We basically make one big trip every 6 weeks where we still don't spend over $50 for our family of four. This is by necessity rather than want, but our bodies thank us for it. Stock your fridge and freezer from those items that are bought from the perimeter of the grocery store rather than the easy stuff in the middle aisles with lots of shelf life. Now, don't get me wrong, we do have some of that stuff in our house, but that is what we consider quick food and it is better than take out. 

Secondly, we don't eat out as often as the average family, this includes lunch. Doing the math, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer would spend more than we would spend in groceries for a month for our family just eating takeouts and pick-ups for lunch. So 31 days of food for 4 for the same price as 20 days of 1 person eating 1 meal. This is again just a no-brainer. 

Thirdly, I eat when my children eat. They eat healthy. Monk is one of the only children we know that eats salad. He eats the same thing we eat. I never finish anything off their plates. We enjoy the same snacks and breakfast foods. Just a few changes and we are all eating better and can eat our favorite powder doughnuts together. 

These are just a few things that we have done that I have really taken notice that have made my pre-pregnancy jeans become my "fat" jeans. I am noticing that I am having to eat a little more than usual because I have not plateaued yet at a weight. 2 more pounds and I will start to look sick. I will not rub in the fact that the new jeans I got for Christmas are falling off my non-existent heiny that for the first time in my life I can barely find it. Moving, chasing, eating healthy and doing things outside the house as a family have given us a better attitude and outlook around here at Chez Stoneford and hopefully this helps some of you that have asked. 

Day 87: Lions, Tigers, Boobs and Hey I know you, you are the Rain Check lady.

So this past weekend was jammed packed with family fun. We returned the no-fitters of Christmas gifts,  took Monk to see his first official "movie", at the $2 theater of course, followed by going out to the Tiger Rescue and walking, watching and talking 3 feet away from lions, tigers, binturongs and other carnivores. A really big weekend for the 4 of us.

Of course, the recent boob-age headlines of nursing your baby in public have been all over the mom blogs I read, nursing sit-ins and new federal mandates requiring employers and nursing employees are changing, so it's a hot topic in case you didn't get the memo. How does this relate to our wonderful weekend?

Well, while sitting waiting for Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer to find a pair of properly fitted jeans at Gap, the Gator began to wail. He was hungry and Monk and I were sitting where the return lady had told us to go take a load off. So naturally, I picked the Gator up out of our side-by-side double stroller and began to discreetly nurse him. Rather than let him scream his head off and piss everyone around us off.

Disclosure: Yes, I am a mom of 2 and have my faults, like running out of the house after getting 3 human beings together and dressed and forgot my nursing cover, but I did not just have my boob hanging out, all you could see from the Gator was his little nose poking up from the corner of my shirt and maybe 2 inches of skin on my back from having my shirt adjusted. I wasn't going out for a Playboy or Hustler interview.

We were all doing fine, Mr. BBH was running around, and then an employee with black stiletto's and cankles wearing red hot pants that were not becoming on her oh so size 22 booty came up and said...

"Ma'am we do have a nursing room that you would probably be more comfortable".

Nursing a baby or not, who in the right mind likes being asked when they are completing a task at hand, to possibly stop, pack up their S**T, walk 3 stores down, squeeze into a room that is a fitting room with equipment that wouldn't even fit through the door, only to unpack and get back to what you were doing in the first place of minding your own business? Ok. Well I guess I let her get to me, but just said "thanks we are fine" and un-typically left it alone.

Disclosure: I feed my baby, I get bothered by those that get bothered that he nurses but I am not out there to lead the next boob revolution.

After the mall, we made reservations at the movie theater. Puss n' Boots, the Antonio Banderas version, not that William Shatner fooling grandma thing. Yes, I got fooled at the Red Box. Monk had a wonderful time and did fabulous at his first movie. We made a big deal of it, ya know, we stopped at Walgreens and loaded up on candy and drinks, picked up our tickets and headed in...20 lb diaper bag and all. Yes, redneck I know of course since we only paid $2 per person for the show, but I just can't justify $5 for a $1 box of candy.

On Sunday, we had reservations for the Carnivore Preserve and we thought Monk would love being 3 feet away from those critters that he is a good 1/4 mile away from at the zoo. Plus watching them all get fed...Hello Bonus. But being the only mini-human on the tour, the tour lady really didn't engage his growing mind at all, so he got disinterested really fast. We will do this again, and we know that he is ready for it, but next time we will have to book a private tour rather than being on a tour with people playing on their iPhones rather than being in-tune with the animals.

On our way back we stopped by the grocery. I had promised to make "MY" potato salad for a friend. Well happens that we had super double coupons at the grocer this past week and I think I left my discount shopper card in an envelope at that store earlier in the week. So up to the service desk we went. I politely talked with the woman who hadn't heard of anything being turned in but she turned to the other associate working the counter too, and asked him to check the lost and found box. Now, this is one of the 3 grocers that we shop at, pretty much on a rotating basis. He turns around and says, "Nope, no envelope...Hey this is my RAIN CHECK LADY." Now I know that having a good relationship with your service associates is a good idea, but I don't know whether to be mortified or glorified. It was as if he announced to everyone around us..."Hey there's that cheap lady that makes me write her a book of rain checks every time she comes into the store." But I chose not to look at it that way. This new year I am trying to leave B***H in the closet for as long as possible, but hey it's only January. I chose to look at it as..."Hey, she helps keep me in a job, but she doesn't want to pay full price for something that it only costs a fraction to supply, How thrifty and with 2 kids! She sure does love her family and wants to be able to pay for college for them one day!" Ok, so life is not all those sunshine and roses but one can only dream.

So for now, I am just going to have to live with being the nursing mom, the once fooled but not twice bitten movie lady, the hey stop picking at the tree and talk to that Lion in your face mom, and the Crazy Rain Check Lady.  

Day 86: January Quest: Family Fun Time, just not on the weekends.

When we first found out that we were having a baby, we were baffled, confused and overwhelmed. We had been married for 2 months and both Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer and I had demanding careers. Our work schedules were all over the place. Mr. BBH was the first of us to get a consistent schedule and since I was a event marketing director having any semblence of a traditional schedule was inconceivable. Our 2-some, now referred to by the general public as DINK's (Dual Income No Kids) was about to change and we weren't really that "into" changing our lifestyle. Sure, having a baby was going to change our home life, but our working life, we weren't willing to compromise our livelyhood. But as  life happens things change. I got laid off 8.5 months pregnant and learned that by staying home and collecting unemployment, we would actually make more money a month than if I was still working and we had to pay for daycare. So it was a no-brainer for us. We were going to ride the unemployment gravy train until it ran out and I had to start working again. Well unemployment ran out, I couldn't find a job in the current market and we had to make it work. Funny how a traumatic experience and life's greatest blessing collide.

When Monk was 2 month's old, he needed out of the house, heck I needed out of the house. We were the second couple in our circle of friends to have a child and well the only ones in our area. So we joined a Stay at Home mom's group. It has been the most wonderful experience for both of us. Monk has made some great playmates and learned from so many other children that have come into our lives. I have made some really great mom friends that the sharing life's experiences of motherhood brought us together. Had we not have been "forced" into becoming a one-income household, Monk and I would be a a different place, and our circles with these families probably would never have collided.

Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer's profession requires him to work non-traditional hours. There is no concept of 9-5 in our household. Some of the other families that we have met share our non-traditional family hours. Our children go to bed late, sleep in during the morning hours so that we can have some semblence of family time at night. Mostly this time is so that we can all sit down together and share supper, but there has to be a way that we can incorporate more. Not necessarily more activities on our plate, but more togetherness. We do not want our children to think that it is perfectly normal to eat supper, watch some tv, and go to bed. For some people that method of togetherness is fine, but for shaping the minds of our household...not so much.

 Our quest for January and throughout 2012 will be to incorporate more family fun time throughout the week and not only on the weekends. This past weekend was a great family fun weekend, but our family is suffering in the getting to really enjoy each other throughout the week. As our children get older, we want them to know that there is always a time for them rather than them thinking that watching tv is more important than what they think and want to share. 

Day 79: Mommy's new Addiction

If you haven't found it yet, Pinterest. OMG! It is fabulous! It is like having one place that doesn't clutter your house or your computer that stores all of those things that you either jot down or are meaning to get around to jotting down by just clicking pin when you come across something really cool online. I had heard about this website from someone that I honestly disliked with a severe passion and well avoided her recommendations like the plague. Well finally here I am in the New year, trying to try new things and well I have a new addiction! This website has motivated me in ways that I don't truly think I could possibly put into words.

Y'all know how much I am into decluttering our home and lifestyle, well this website gave me the green light into tackeling those places that I oh so much dreaded cleaning out. Starting small my patootie. In my kitchen we have the smallest counter next to the stove reserved as our overflow area. Most people have a drawer in their kitchen devoted for the catch all junk and we do too, but having 2 small children, I just don't get "round 2 it". I admit it I am a pile person and a clean it up really fast by just putting everything in a bag and stuffing it away out of sight. This place is comprised of just well we didn't know just what until today...coupons that I picked from the blinkies at the grocer, magazine articles for ideas, toys that needed to be "fixed", recipes, mail, cards, chargers and batteries... you name it this is where it lands...landed. Over the course of adding that new bundle of joy into our home, things have gotten a little out of hand. The junk drawer and counter overflowed it's way to another counter, the hall closet and the end of the entertainment center. I couldn't take it anymore. Out came the trash bags. Gone. Out of the house. Clear counters, clear junk drawer, clear hall closet.

A New Year brings a fresh new start here at Chez Stoneford, and well, the old went out with yesterdays news. Literally. Pinterest is giving me that place to put all this stuff hopefully into one little place except for those broken toys that need fixing and those cell chargers. Paperless billing is coming our way and a trash can next to the front door for junk mail to be drop directly into. An envelope into the car seat carrier has been placed to put those blinkies and a fresh start has begun!

Disclosure: My new addiction, I vow will only allowed to be followed when the children are napping.

Day 78: New Year, New Beginings

Happy New Year! For our family of four here at Changing the Way We Do, 2012 welcomes so many things to look forward to and so many things to say good bye and good riddens! We hope that everyone enjoyed their holidays and are just as excited as we are for this new year.

Everyone always talks about what resolutions that they want to make and hope desperately not to break. Well that is just what this blog is about and to throw in a little humor along the way as we all travel through life's ups and downs.

Opening up your mind to just starting a new adventure has endless possibilities. Over the course of the month of January, it will be our goal here at Chez Stoneford to explore the hidden possibilities of what joy we can have as a family of four. We will be instituting a mandatory family movie night (so expect some grand reviews or some interesting thumbs down), a mandatory family game night (ooh trying to do this with 2 children...), and a mandatory get out of the house and enjoy what this city of ours has to offer that is fun day. The internet has been a great friend of ours for a long time with finding free things to do around town, but now it must become a great tool as for playing Candyland and Red Rover might get old, as well as taking trips to the airport observation deck and the old tried and true.

Expanding outside our comfort box is a must for this new year and hey, we might just find the new favorite thing we all like to do.

Wishing you all a healthy and prosperous new year!