Monday, February 4, 2013

How do you find the time?

I was talking to a couple of friends earlier this week, the first, mind you she has a 4 year old too and almost 4 month old twins, about how do you find the time. She is doing phenomenally well with getting used to having 3 children under 5, one which goes to preschool and 2 that need all her energy almost every second of the day. Wow, I just don't know how she functions most days.

But she really got me thinking!

Many of us look at each other in bewilderment and say "I would love to, but I just don't know how to find the time."

From a mommy perspective, which others take for granted...

* I would love to take a shower everyday, but I just don't know how to find the time...

It might not be an everyday occurrence like so many of us need, especially when you have been covered in spit up, milk, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the God awful exploding diapers but when you have company in your house, hell even if you are the company... speak up and say, go take 15 minutes and scrub!

* I would love to cook a nice dinner for my family instead of eating left overs for 4 days in a row...

Most of us hugely busy people, have the "what's for dinner" battle if not everyday, most days. But it is nice, not to cook one huge meal and then have to eat it over and over until you finally say screw it and throw it the leftovers in the freezer and start your next meal that you will eat again for the next 3 days. So how do you find the time. My FIL used to have a stock pot and add something new to it everyday. Well frankly, this grossed me out, he would never know what he was mixing, but always ate it. Well start off simple. Say a whole chicken, throw it in the crockpot, have chicken tonight, after supper if it's not all gone, throw in some water and boil the crap out of it so it's easy to pick apart and then freeze. Next week take it out and concoct away! Once you get into a good cycle with this, it gets better!

* Come on Over, means hang out with me for awhile, I need to feel human again...

When we lived in Raleigh, I had a few friends that did not have kids that were awesome about this! I maybe a mom, but I am still a person that even if you sit on the couch with me and talk, it makes it so much better. One friend would come over, after a busy day and just sit and watch TV and have popcorn with me. We would leave real world problems to themselves and veg. It was awesome. So how do you find the time for this...even if it is once a month, a great stop in by a friend is cathardic!

* When you invite yourself over, without calling or just walk through my door, be prepared to be put to work!

I say what I mean and mean what I say. I live in a toddler's world most of the time and consistency is the key. So how do I find time to actually get stuff done, nap times are just for the kids. I have to cram as much as possible into this time frame, so if my kids are awake, how do I find the time...15 minute intervals for getting stuff done. I take 15 minutes, set up an activity for my kids to create and while they are in my sight I get something done. But if you are in my house, how you can "help" me is to let my kids play with you. I play with them all the time and mommy play time gets old. They have fun with you, I love you more for it and so do they and I can spend more than 15 minutes getting stuff done! Please to God, do not sit down on my couch and fall asleep or play on electronics, my kids are dying for your attention! If you need sleep, go to a bed. If you want to play on electronics, do it when my kids are sleeping!

* Sleep is obviously overrated

A twenty minute power nap or rest is good for anyone's body, but in a mommy world, when I have gotten 6 hours of sleep over the course of a few days or possibly weeks, dear friend, let me tell you I will love you even more if notice this and let me check out for 15 of those 20 minutes! I get up an hour before my house wakes, to attempt to start my day with a cup of coffee, brushing my teeth, and to change my underwear, go through mail and make my to do list of the day, if I didn't I wouldn't be able to function to raise the next generation!

* Don't judge me or tell me what I "SHOULD" do

Your opinions are duly noted, advice is welcome when I ask for it, and more importantly, though I love you and value your opinion, I am a grown capable person that has my own problems in life and the ways in which I choose to solve them will always be on my own terms. Interjections in a mommy's world just flat out suck. I abhor the "oh it's ok, though your mommy just fed you, you obviously didn't get enough to eat and I must feed you again", or the talking to my children and telling them that "your mommy must not love you enough to let you..." You will be making more of a mess of my controlled bubble than you ever could imagine.

* I love you, and you should by now in all the years of knowing me know this but...

When you want to come and "help" me, please to God do not think for one single solitary minute second that I want to sit here and listen to your groans and moans every time I see you or talk or text you. I have mini-humans that do enough of that throughout everyday of my life. I can not fix your problems, Hell, I can barely find the time to fix myself lunch.

So in other words to wrap things up, I do not sit around eating bon bons all day long. I would love to but that is never the case, and from what I have learned about my life in the last few years, I won't for the next twenty!

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