Day 17: Being ME vs. Other Parenting

When I was in college a friend gave me a copy of this poem and it has always stayed with me... Always in the back of my mind when I look at any child. 

Law Nolte, Dorothy (1924 - 2005) Children learn what they live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

I understand that there are very few people like myself in the world. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I do not have a penis in this sense but I have a hard time understanding why people just can't be totally honest with each other. Granted, I am brash and blunt most of the time. Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer says that I do not have a mute button when I give honest answers. I feel that I would be doing a huge disservice to my children if I sugar coated things. If I weren't forthright with them, it would be as if I am telling them they need to be honest human beings...but only in certain circumstances. This is just the tip of my iceberg on that subject.

In our home there is nothing on a child's level that can not be played with. Everything in their reach can be picked up, played with and learned about. We do not prevent our children and those that visit our home from a teaching experience. We want our children to know how things work, what they do, what they do not do and what they can become. We encourage active imaginative play and not with just toys. We support well rounded learning and vocabulary boosting. We do not baby talk to our children. If our child wants to try to do something, we encourage it. I am not saying that we are letting them jump off the banister or do anything that could potentially maim them for life!  If they want to taste something, we encourage it. They are individual human beings. Just because I or we may not like to do or eat something, does not mean that this separate person capable of their own individual likes and dislikes will or won't.

Being a SAHM offers me the advantages of choosing what I deem appropriate for my children to learn. I am fortunate in this instance. I understand that parents who opt to send their children to a formalized preschool or daycare, believe in their heart that they have made the correct choice of appropriateness as to what their children are exposed to whether it was by necessity or not. I also understand that I can not control what they are going to be introduced to when they start school, but we as parents will be involved.

The point of my parenting rant is not the actuality of being a SAHP or not. This is not a war between the working parents...just because you work hard, bring home a paycheck and I do not does not by any mean, mean that I do not work just as hard or even harder than you...DRAMA. The fundamental of my argument is how children are being raised today. Many of them are taught that the world owes them something. This attitude is primarily based on bribing children in my mind. If you do what I ask of you right now then you will get ____ in return. How about teaching your children that you mean what you say and leave the bribery out.

Disclosure: I will include that a reward system for long-term success for attaining certain goals is appreciated in my mind such as acts in Potty Training.

Parents are so apt today to give in and forget that a child is learning everything everyday to which the parents have known their whole life. Can a parent honestly say that they have bribery arguments with their boss or anyone in the real world? Re-teaching the parent to actually say what they mean and mean what they say when it comes to parenting I feel is necessary to raise a capable, self assured, contributing and productive child.

We, as parents spend so much time teaching our children what they can't do rather than letting them learn what they can do. A capable child, understands that making their own choices is part of everyday life. I am not saying that I am offering my children my keys to drive my car. I am, however notioning to the fact that all actions are choices and most of those choices have consequences. Life isn't always fair, every parent or non-parent alike knows this. However, if you give your children time for appropriateness, you will spend less time telling them no, when it is not the appropriate situation of sorts. Leading by example, getting down, experiencing life through their eyes and teaching your child manners will give them the cornerstone of success in life.

We have an art table in our kitchen that is stocked with paper, markers, crayons, stickers, playdoh and tools as well as colored pastas, yarn and glue. It is fully accessible for him to get creative with these supplies as long as they are done at the art table. It is there for getting creative. When I set things out for him to "experiment" with, we do this together, messes are contained and are ok. Showing him that this is the appropriate place to make a mess.

Yesterday, we had a play date for Monk here at our house. There were 3 other children in addition to Monk. So, these 3 other children at the play date kept looking up at their mothers to see if today's messy activity was ok. Monk was happily playing along and getting royally messy. Stated in our posted play date was the fact that we were going to get messy, so bring a change of clothes. Over and over these moms kept asking me "are you sure this is ok?" I kept saying to these moms that it is ok for the kids to get messy; "pour, dump, taste, & try new things" I told the kids. They (the moms) looked at me like I was nuts. In return, I tried my hardest not to look at them back with the look of "you don't let your children do this?" Do these parents not talk to their children about where they are going and what they are going to do when they get there? Or better yet, standing there speechless at their child...not one of them asked their children questions about what they were doing, making ect. No engagement. Maybe I am wrong in my thinking about them as parents, but their children had a very hard time engaging in messy play, it was if they thought that by participating they would "get in trouble."

In our family, we learn new things together, make a mess together and together we clean it up. If you don't do this, how will they learn what stuff feels like, tastes like, imagine...create and to clean up their messes? It's as if you gave a child a box of crayons without outlets to utilize them, duh they are going to think of something to use them on and most likely you are going to have to clean their artwork off the walls. In doing this, will they have a sense of self accomplishment, self assurance, self awareness? Yes, but you will probably end up frustrated, portraying your frustration to your child thus unknowingly telling them that this accomplishment...their masterpiece is not acceptable in your mind.  Thus teaching them that it is right to be shameful and wrong to have confidence in what they are capable of doing. I know that there can't be just a few of us parents in the world! You know those of us who want our children to know what a tree feels like rather than looking at it out a window or on a computer!

It just astounds me the way that parents will talk down to a child yet expect them to act like mature adults all the time and then be embarrassed at ultimate meltdowns. We knew what type of parents we wanted to be before we became parents. I know this is true of most parents. There are things that we as grown "children" think that our parents could have done differently and we as the "parents" now are out to change. There are things that we as "parents" will instill in our children as our parents did that we will pass along. We as parents want the best for our children...for some it is the best clothes, schools, toys, you know what you can buy your child. The best thing in life that you can give your child is your actions, attention, patience, kindness and love; you know the stuff you can't buy but teach. The hindsight of relegating your child to the back burner in life and not being that parent you knew you wanted to be to your child is...your decision.

Days 11-16: Consumerism & Tradition

Wow, we had a very busy few days here around Chez Stoneford! So I bring you 5 days rolled up into 1 post!

Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer and I had this wonderful talk the other day about the terms of reference that "We" use when "we" describe decisions that "We" make involving everyday life. Sometimes those decisions that "We" make 1/2 of the "we" has no idea that "We" have made these decisions yet all have to live with them.

So here they are:
I = only when it involves taking credit for the success of a project
You = All By Yourself typically when some project is an epic failure
We = I decided or you throw it back at me for the good of everybody whether it's a success or failure

The grand "We" is like the all encompassing "They", as in "They" say you should, so "We" have 10 days to go to meet our 30 day goal.

How our Anniversary Creatives got the best of us:
We didn't go all out, especially with our Consumerism goal in mind, so we each sweetly made a creative card for each other. I received a card, that had 2 puppies on it and though we ain't got no money we gots each other... and Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer received a photo card of us just as the preacher pronounced us married...the married kiss...how we still like kissing each other X# years later! No gifts were exchanged but together we cooked a great meal. It really was a nice night!

How our Challenge is going:
So far going strong in the not spending any $$$, but the gas crisis is where we are going to have to bend the rules a little bit. After careful consideration, it is just not safe for me to be at home with 2 children and less than 1/4 tank of gas in the car. If we have an emergency, "We" don't want to have to worry about getting to the E.R. or the pediatrician without having to stop and fill-up. So lesson learned, for the next time we try a no-gas allowance for a Consumerism Challenge.

Over the course of the last few days, we have had numerous people come and visit. Since it is the start of the Fall/Winter season, we have had many traditions that we have started with our kids and some of our closest friends.

Friday:
We do a lot of events with our children through our city's parks and recreation department. You'd be surprised at some of the creativity these people come up with and 9 times out of 10 it's all FREE! Cha Ching! But Friday we had a prepaid for Halloween Trail event. So for a family of 5, because we had Nana to, $20 for a fun filled family night! Hayrides, Hallowed Walk, Play & skits oh and not to mention crafts galore! Total Score!

Saturday:
Nana always comes for the visit to the pumpkin patch and this time graciously paid for us to go. An awesome time was had by all. It was just the 11 of us. Yep 11. 11 people leaving our house on time, 11 people getting through the gate without anyone getting lost or left behind and 11 people crammed into a caboose on the little train ride!

Opening the pantry and freezer on Friday morning, we realized how much we had actually made a dent in our stockpile. What were we going to do for lunch for 10 people & a baby out at the farm, since we were obliging our Consumerism Challenge on our guests? One sack of potatoes...check! Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer is a meat and potato man, so we never have a shortage of fresh or frozen!

Disclosure: We have 5 bags of frozen potatoes left!!! Yay, by the time we are done with this Challenge I am going to be potatoed out!

Potato salad it was, all the ingredients and more were found in the pantry. Boy, I hoped that everyone was going to love potato salad, because I looked at our bread rations and well we had 4 slices of bread and that just wasn't going to cut it! No bread was left in the freezer. One of our dogs had confiscated a freshly pulled loaf from the freezer and demolished it. Apparently the dogs didn't get the memo about our challenge! Nana to the rescue again! She had arrived at our house with some Pepperidge Farm goldfish shaped pita bread packs. Woo Hoo! Monk has fallen in love with "Fish" sandwiches and little did Nana know that this bread arrived at the right time. Throw in some apples and voila lunch for 10!

At the farm, for every admission, you get a free pumpkin to take home...Score for not having to bust our Challenge to get pumpkins or go without on Halloween! Saturday Family fun day came to a close with us carving pumpkins!

Sunday:
An Oldie but Goody was resurrected for a completion to our Fall Fest Weekend, we went to a Corn Maze and had alot of fun! It was a great teaching day for Monk and The Gator got his first wagon ride! We had to navigate through a labyrinth of corn to find the numbers 1-10 and answer trivia questions to hint which was the right way to go. If you have never taken your kids, I highly recommend this!

So as for Monday nothing spent, nothing pitched.

Totals:
Thurs: Consumerism 0, Us:1
Fri: Consumerism 0, Us: 1
Sat: Consumerism 0, Us: 1
Sun: Consumerism 0, Us:1
Monday: Consumerism 0, Us:1

Day 10: EveryBODY Poops

So, today is our anniversary. I woke up in bed with my husband. Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer woke up in bed with our 2 children. We have been married for 4 years. Little did we know that 4 years later this would be our routine. Monk was born exactly 10 months and 1 day after we got married, so we really never got to experience the newlywed period of life without children. Oops, guess we were just too good at the practicing. We always said that we didn't want to just have one child. We wanted him/her to have a sibling, and well we weren't going to rush it, but I didn't want to even think about it until Monk was at least 2 years old. Well, God had a different plan for us. There was no thinking about it or "trying". A few weeks after Monk turned 2 the stick turned blue.

Having a new baby, your world starts revolving around poop. We never thought that poop would be a topic of conversation in our household. Boy, is life...ummm interesting. The screams of "oh, my God, how could something this little have that much poo!" was probably heard by our neighbors as well as "Honey, get the scissors, this onezie is not worth saving!". Oh the delights of being a first time parent.

Now, flash forward 3 years into parenting comes potty training. Just when our neighbors thought that the yelling for scissors was over, little did they know it would be followed by "these underwear are not worth saving!" nor did we. While we were in the beginning stages of this new parenting quest, praise, joy, and rewards were abound. We made a big deal out of using the potty and wearing big boy undies. Monk pretty much has it down pat except for at night. Yay, one kid out of diapers, one more to go!

Gator is an a-typical pooping baby. When he was about a month old, he went without pooping for 6 days and our entire family began to worry something was wrong with him. We rushed him to the pediatrician, who looked at me and said "since he is a breastfed baby, it's OK. We will talk when he hasn't pooped for 10 days. Since he is a preemie,  he is probably using up everything he eats.". When he finally did poop, later that night, we sort of made a big deal with it. Of course, Monk was there to hear and bear witness to the whole thing.

Little did we know that we created a poop patrol monster. Monk is the Sergeant in Command. Now Sgt. Monk of the Poop Patrol thinks it is his duty to have to look at every one of the Gator's diapers checking to see if the Gator has pooped. If he did, the excitement comes out "Yay, he pooped" comes flying out of his mouth followed by "it's ____(color)".  If Gator has not, Monk is quiet and somber "Nope, just pee." and goes running back to whatever he was doing.

So now, the cloth diapers has turned Sgt. Monk of the Poop Patrol's world upside down. Cloth diapers in this house already come with colors. Though the insides are white in the ever on duty mini-human's mind, the poop has to be a different color than what it used to be when we would throw them away. Throwing in another curve ball is the fact that the Gator started eating solid foods. "whoa Mommy, that doesn't look right, I think he needs to go to the doctor!" What's a mother to do?

Now the "Why's" have started and beginning with poop and the color of it. Dog poop, cat poop, everybody poops Sgt. Monk, just like you! A wise friend, who has raised her children, just sending her youngest off to college, told me that she hasn't been to the restroom by herself in over 32 years. When she first told me of this, I thought...Hello door locks! Well door locks as I have come to find out, don't keep your child from asking you "Mommy why did you lock the door? Are you pooping? Daddy Whatcha doing in there? Are you pooping?" I now understand where she was going with this when she was referring to her children when they were little. Why lock the door, they are just going to beat on it until you answer them! All our Pooping Sgt. wants to know is if you are regular or do we need to take you to the doctor. We have thought about getting the "Everybody Poops" book for him at the library, but that's about making it OK for a kid to poop in the potty, defeating the grand purpose of changing the subject of poop in our house. 

Day 9: Consumerism Challenge: Cardboard boxes are like gold

Consumerism doesn't get to get the best of me today, a little creativity goes a long way.

We, like most parents despise the word can't and lately Monk has been using it alot. The "I can't because..." is really getting annoying. Over the last oh 6-8 months Monk has grown a fascination with knights. By mistake he watched the movie Shrek and well, since Shrek is a knight and saves the princess, you can see how Monk would want to do the same.

Yesterday, we went to a play date with Monk's best friend Edge and he loves playing knights. This morning Monk came down stairs and wailed those dreadful "I can't words" this time being followed by "be a knight, because I don't have a shield!". No knight gear in our house...or so Monk thinks. I had actually picked him up a set of armor and shields at a consignment sale a few months back to give him as a Christmas present. I couldn't just go running to the garage and get it out. What lesson would that teach my son? When we think we can't or we don't have just go buy one?  That mentality is what I definitely don't want my children to express. Ever. We have strived with our children to let very few branded characters in our house, so that we can get through shopping without having the screaming child yelling about how they want the "Little Red Devil...a.k.a. Elmo" and not being able to leave or being so utterly embarrassed that we would have to buy it just to shut him up. Most parents will never admit the fact that they have had to do this, but we haven't and never plan on it either.

Since cardboard boxes are like gold around here at Chez Stoneford out came the scissors, foil, & tape. Voila in about 20 minutes, Monk had a shield! I was smart enough in the fact that when I was cutting out the one, I actually cut out two, just in case Monk wanted to play with anyone, but primarily I knew Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer would want one too. So, Monk was happy with my creation, a shield with a giant Autobot logo on it. For those of you who don't know what an Autobot logo is, it's the Transformers logo. I live in a house with all men and since Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer is a self professed 80's cartoon freak, he of course would want to pass on his Transformer obsession to his sons.

Disclosure: The day Monk crawled up into bed and wanted to watch TV with Daddy, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer's heart totally jumped at the fact that his son wanted to watch...THE ROBOTS! Then the day came when Grandma & Mommy came home from the consignment sale, Optimus Prime Robot in hand, Daddy jumped up opened up his toy cabinet to get his old Optimus Prime, and I caught the two of them having a Transformers battle on the couch..."Look Mommy we're playing Robots, Daddy's is the Daddy Optimus Prime and mine is the little boy." Ok, my heart melted a little too. Then came the day when after Monk's 3rd birthday, we took him to the toy store, gave him 1/2 of his "Birthday Money" and he wanted to buy a new Robot, just like Daddy's toys.

So back to not running out to the store to buy knight gear...

Monk came upstairs and again uttered the words, "I can't be a knight because I don't have a sword!". Stumped and almost about to have to blow our Consumerism Challenge, I stopped looked around, and then remembered Nana had bought Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer a set of light sabers for him to play with Monk. So I bent down and told him, "You are right, you don't have a sword...You have a LIGHT SABER!" All was right with the mini-human's world. He came down stairs and since Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer is still on his Fur-cation (he is furloughed from work right now), Monk asked him to play knights. Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer looked at me and I told him to take 10 minutes and play knights. So what does Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer say to me? "I can't play knights, I don't have a shield." Boom, not as cool as Monk's but I had at least had the forethought that he might "need" one.

Consumerism avoided! I may actually get away with re-consigning the knight gear! Woo Hoo! Cool points to this Mommy today! With a little creativity, you can make a child's day without having to spend any $$$ and turn the dreadful "I can't" into "I can, I am!"

Consumerism Challenge: 0
Us:1

Day 8: Consumerism Challenge: The Grocer vs. The Supercenter

Since I can't shop right now, I thought that I would make today's consumerism blog about shopping the grocery store.

Today, I read a great quip about the grocery store vs. the supercenter. Many of us have been trained that buying food supplies at the supercenter is way less expensive than buying them at the grocery. News flash! These supercenters with their everyday low prices seem very attractive, but the only way they outbeat a grocery store is when you are not buying what's on sale.

If you are like me, shop the sales and use coupons, we save an average of 60-75% at the grocery store than the 25-30% we would at a supercenter. Our average grocery bill is about $40 a week. If we bought the same stuff at a supercenter it would, well believe it or not, it double that. Don't forget this is for a family of 4, $120 a month, organics included! Most people spend that much in a single trip to the grocer or the supercenter!

The week prior to our Anti-Consumerism Challenge, our grocery receipt was for a grand total of $18 and we got meat! So no, we are not depriving ourselves from eating nutritiously. We here at Chez Stoneford live by the philosophy, if God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat! Sorry, if I offended any vegetarians.

A good portion of our grocery bill goes to milk. You'd think being so close to cow country it would be a lot or at least reasonably priced. No matter where we shop for milk, it's always the same here in cost. Well, I consider around $4 a gallon a little um up there. But, we like milk, and since "it does a body good" there has been no way around paying for it. Do we pay the inflated milk price? Nope. We use a coupon for it. Yes, they even make coupons for milk! And, not just for the stuffy yippie brand milk, they issue coupons for regular people milk! It's called save .75 off ANY BRAND of milk! Woo Hoo!

So, why don't we shop at a supercenter? Our grocery store doubles coupons, super centers don't. Taking into account our $4 gallon of milk, our .75 coupon, we pay $2.50! Back to being reasonable!

I know many people think that shopping with coupons is a tedious process and I must be nuts to do it with kids. News flash...again...we spend probably the same amount of time if not shorter than most people do, at the grocer buying the same things. List in hand, I know what we are going to buy, which coupons we are going to use and how much my total is going to be. Very few modifications are made in store. No, I am not one of those extreme coupon crazies. I understand the fact that this good deal is going to cycle around again in 6-8 weeks, so no hoarding allowed!

Disclosure: The only grocery hoarding allowed in our house or freezer is when buy 2 get 3 free deals come, and sometimes those are on an annual cycle. I know that this is going to sound crazy but I love November in the grocery store! Veggies & Skinless boneless chicken breast go on sale at rock bottom prices and well, we rack up! So, we get enough to last us at least 3/4 of the year. As for the veggies, a whole shelf is devoted in the garage to holding oh about 150 cans of veggies as well as the big basket at the bottom of the stand alone freezer. It being mid October, our veggie & chicken rations are getting low, but November is acomin'!

So, why not use coupons? These manufacturers are putting these little pieces of paper out there for you in a convenient carry size, saying hey here is XX cents or dollar/s off our product. The grocer is saying hey, carry that little paper in and we will double the money. Not using coupons to me is like buying a winning lottery ticket and never cashing it in! I mean seriously, if someone offers to sell you something at $500 and the person next to them says 'I'll let you have it for $250' are you really going to shell out the extra $250? Nope, what sane person would? God, I hope that my grocer doesn't decide to do Super Doubles or Triples while we are on our Cash-cation!

I have never really understood why people today think so frivolously. The value of a dollar is in it's earning. Personally and for our family we like the money Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer makes. We use it for you know paying the bills, and well if we can save money on groceries and the like by using coupons, why let someone else's pocket get fatter for laziness? Over the course of the last 20-25 years the dispensability mentality started being incorporated into the American household. Paper plates are one thing, but throwing away your hard earned $$$, when you don't have to...stupidity. The mindset of everything can be replaced should only be thought upon in times of disaster.

(I know I got off topic here towards the end, but passion I tell you...passion)

Day 7: The Burning of the Bats

I have always been a fan of Cathy Guisewite's comic strip "Cathy". Well, last week the strip that I have always looked forward to reading every weekend came to an end. At times, I could really relate to Guisewite's humor. Back in 1999, she had written a strip talking about how she wanted to understand the man's world. I cut it out of the paper, and it has been on my refrigerator since, move after move I have carried this one particular strip with me. I have tried to find a link online, so that I could share but the archives that I have found do not go back that far. But the gist of the strip, which has disappeared from the fridge, is this...

She wants to understand everything in the man's world...love...food...relationships...everything except football.

I am reminded of this strip every fall when football starts and I chuckle. I am not that into football except when the Bills make the playoffs. Fortunately, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer doesn't care about football and the only time I catch the T.V. turned to a game is when he wants to check that the HD is working properly. He says the green is just gorgeous. I find him doing this @ oh... end of March. March, I know funny huh. Some women are married to football men and then some of us are married to baseball freaks. Thus it was as if Cathy was futuristically speaking to me about baseball...not so much, but my mind thinks of it that way.

Now, I like baseball. I played softball growing up, so I understand the game and understand the past time.  Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer played baseball in college and still loves to play. For the last 4 out of 5 years, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer has played on an adult league, but for the 2011 season he asked me if I would mind if he played. I never gave him and answer, it was an open ended catch 22. He finally decided he wasn't going to play. At the time, I was pregnant with the Gator, and his due date was a few weeks into the season and it wouldn't be nice to leave me at home on the weekends sans help to play ball. Props to all you single parents out there, I just don't know how you do it! I thought this was very sweet that he wanted to stay at home with me and the kids. He also told me that since he was beginning to fall apart (age not disclosed...) he wanted to save whatever playing he had left in him for when Monk and TBD (Gator) were old enough to play. I know sweet again.

Throughout the season, his coach would call and ask him to come out and play. Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer always asked if we had anything special planned and if I would mind if he went. I obliged knowing how much the game means to him. Being a guest player wasn't an every weekend commitment, so we could manage the few hours. Funny thing though, come the end of the season, the messages left by the coach ended up being for me rather than Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer. Begging, pleading and some groveling was usually involved, but I packed the kids and we cheered Daddy on.

During the games, the coach collects all of the broken bats from all of the players, then he has a end of season party where they burn all those collected bats. The first year I went, I thought they were nuts. It seemed as if they were eulogizing these broken bats before sending them to their etherial destiny...followed by eating cake! Over the years I have come to understand this ritual for them. These men, relive/retell their favorite brief moments that revolve around a passion that lets them feel as if they have the world in the palm of their hands, their future is limitless, and the can do anything mindset...a little boy mentality.

These are men, not children... from different backgrounds, ages, and demographics, coming together forming a camaraderie for the love of playing as if they were 12 again. Baseball boys at heart. It is this part of the man's world that I want to understand. Being a woman, I have a such vast different perspective. Probably, because woman are too catty and I don't get that. We have very few things in common with each other. Most of us have motherhood in common and yes that bares somewhat of a camaraderie, but...what else?

Being a mother, in the 21 century, I am petrified in the electronic age that my sons will have little knowledge of what true commonality and camaraderie is. So, it is up to us parents to understand and pass on. Crackberry's, iPhones, iPad, PC, Mac, Xbox,...you name it & Wii just can't bring the past time and cherished memories of sharing a human moment together.

Day 6: Saying Good Bye to some toys

Our children are no different than most children about their toys. They have toys they love and toys that they think they to keep because they occupy space and consistency within their environment is paramount. In our efforts to de-clutter, we have come up with a list of things that Monk doesn't really play with. I have thought about just migrating the stuff out of the house when he is asleep, but being at that the age of which he notices just about everything, this might not be solution to have a copacetic household. He has become fond of the Toy Story movies and well since seeing the 3rd one, donating toys and throwing away broken ones is a wretched sin punishable by bouts of tantrums and sobbing. Just 2 things that Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer and I just don't cope very well with. Now please, we do not bow down to the mini-human in the house. It's quite the opposite. We don't respond at all except for telling him "we don't hear that voice" and "inappropriate behavior". I have even resulted in taking a video of him throwing the fit and playing it back to him later in the day. We talk about how ridiculous it is to act this or that way. Most times he obliges, but his genes are flowing with a tantamount of stubbornness; he totally gets it from Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer ;).

Good Bye Train Table...This is how our conversation went...

Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer: "Why aren't we doing this while he is asleep?"
Me: "He has to learn that as he grows up and new toys come into the house, old toys need to find a new home."
Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer: "This is so not going to bode well."
...I went up to the playroom
Monk: "ooohhh my train table... what are you doing Mommy?"
DUN DUNT DUN
Me: "Cleaning it up, so that we can get it out of the playroom."
Monk: ...the dreaded "Why?"
...immediately the theme song to Jaws starts playing in my head.
Me: "We have to make room for the toys you got for your birthday, so since you like to play with your trains on the floor, we are going to sell this."
...eyes bug out of his head and hands go on the hips
Monk: "No, MOMMY! You can't get rid of my train table. It's mine and no other little boy can have it! He can't use it. He can't have it."
Me: "Well Monk, we have a new train rug in the garage that we are going to put down instead."  
...Monk promptly got into the table which I had taken the top off and began to stomp around. 

I reiterated the fact that we had a "NEW" rug to use instead. Hoping that he did not put a hole in the table making it unsellable. I finally had to lift the stomping mini-human out, take him down to the garage and show him this "new" rug. So this "new" rug has actually been hiding in our house for well over a year and a half. Coming out for car play and going due to the cats liking it a little too much (apparently the rubber backing is an instant cat attracter for sniffing, scratching, and almost getting peed on. Since the we keep the playroom door closed, keep your fingers crossed no cat gets left in!). So, while I was in the garage with Monk getting this "new" rug, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer carried it out. Monk carried the rug up to the playroom, I let him pick where he wanted it to go and then all was right in the world again. Whew, tantrum avoided. Rug now loved again. Do the tracks and trains come out to play on it? Nope, the rug is an Aircraft carrier today.

The train table is posted for sale and is awaiting it's new rightful owner! Horray, Queen's "We are the Champions" was playing in my head as I went to bed.

Consumerist Challenge: 0
Major space vampire: 0
Us:1

Day 5: The Whip Fix

Day 5: Consumerist Challenge

OOhhh, The Saturday Evic Specials. Our grocery store has what are called Evic Specials. Just on Saturday they offer these total awesome deals, and well tomorrow, I have so many coupon matchups for those items that it is killing me not to go out and spend the $. I mean $1 for fresh OJ! $1 for Organic Eggs! Boo Hoo. Will stick to Challenge as planned. So, if many of you don't coupon. I don't know why. Half of those people I bet go crazy for tax free days. But seriously, a 7% discount on one weekend a year or a 50-75% savings per grocery trip. Really I have no words because I can't contemplate. For those interested a couple of good match up websites, www.southernsavers.com, www.raininghotcoupons.com,  www.thecouponchallenge.com, www.krazycouponlady.com. More on coupons another day.

Total for today:
Consumerist Challenge: 0
Us: 1

In our first blog entry I mention that we have a few cats. For those of you who are not cat people, I'm sorry. But here at Chez Stoneford we foster these loving fuzzy purring friends through a wonderful rescue Alley Cats and Angels. www.alleycatsandangels.org
   
      Disclosure: Saving $ with coupons affords one to be able to foster with out any extra out of pocket!

Tonight we happen to be dog sitting one of my college roommate's dog Ally. She lives with 2 cats of her own, but she is so smitten with the fact that we have stairs and we have cats that are not "protected" behind a baby gate. Mind you, if they chose to be protected behind a baby gate, this 50+ lb ingenious girl can morph herself into a cockroach or put on a cloak of invisibility to end up on the other side.  (Will post video link) Downstairs...oooh...cat(s). Upstairs....oooh...cat(s). Man Cave...oooh...Cat(s). Outside....Whoa...NO CAT(s)? Anyway, this look of bewilderment came across her face and she pauses and turns side to side. Woof Woof, I guess that is her please let me back in I would like to see the kitties again please. She began to search all over and well, apparently our cats do not move/fly as quickly as the Ally's. HISS Hiss SPIT! POOFFFF! Cat hair is exploding all over my freshly cleaned house. White hair, black hair, tabby hair, long hair, short hair...I feel like a Dr. Suess book. Since a few of our cats can afford to lose a few pounds, we feel bad, but we are letting her "chase" the fat ones. Good thing we have plenty of kitty weed (Catnip) because they are going to be screaming for some come week's end.

I will also disclose that we also have a dog Jack who has his own dog Dunkin. Yes, our dog has a dog, and yes both are "real" dogs not outfit accessories and they KNOW to leave the cats alone. Battle scars. Another day, another story. 

So the point I am getting around to is that today, I never really knew what a WTF look was on a cat until today. Honestly, I didn't think they were capable of it. One of our littlest kitties, a foster about 3 months old, Whip, went in to be fixed. He is about 4 lbs, I'd say, so he is fairly small. We picked him up, brought him home, let him recoup for a few hours and this evening we let him out. He sees Ally and well since he is totally black, Ally really doesn't see him that well. Now, when he left this morning we had 2 dogs.  Whip has been awesome with our dog and his dog. But Ally, not so much. He is staying as close to us as possible. Right now, I don't think he can get any closer to Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer.  The utter look of betrayal. You got another DOG? He gleams over at me. What can I do? Hopefully by the time she has gone home, he will finally have come to off the anesthesia and the pain meds and life will be back to normal. But for now, Mr. Bacon Bringer Homer will have to live with this gigantic fuzzy mole of a kitten on the back of his neck. If he comes to quicker than we think, we have plenty of kitty prozac around to soothe his woe.

In closing, Whip finally got down.
Poor Ally, just got Whipped by Whip. She'll probably be leaving the cats alone for a bit.

Ps. A blurb from my MIL about Whip's WTF:
Whip: "You traded my balls for a Dog?" "WTF?"

Day 4: Crisco and Jimmy John's $1 Subs

Having 2 children that stay at home all day, means we have a person who is in the 3 foot range living here. Progressively over the past few years we have noticed that our "things" (decor) keep moving higher and higher in our house. Well now, the only high place we have left in the living room is the top of the entertainment center. So it has become a common dumping ground for stuff that Monk has gotten into as well as for stuff we don't want him to get in to. 

Monk has perfected the art over the course of the past 2 weeks of climbing the entertainment center. "They", the so-called experts have always said to get down to the child's level when baby proofing and well we did that. "They" never said get up on levels that are higher than you can see!  Now if we continue on this path we will have to resort to gluing stuff to the ceiling. I have researched to my hearts content on trying to prevent him from climbing and if the buck stopped at the entertainment center everything would be fine. Not so much in our case. So if you play the stock market, start buying stock in Crisco, because lathering Chez Stoneford in it has crossed our minds. But for now, decluttering the living room and the rest of the house will just have to suffice. 

I will post a picture of our entertainment center for possible anti-climbing suggestions!

Consumerism Challenge,  Day 4

Since this is a blog about my family, Mr. Bread Winner told me last night that he no longer wants to be referred to as Mr. Bread Winner. He said that he thought about it for a few days and since bacon always in his mind tastes better than bread, he would like to be referred to as Mr. Bacon Bring Em' Homer? I chuckled at this because a flash to the Simpsons TV show came into my head. So I will politely oblige to his meager request.

So yesterday, Mr. Bacon Bring Em' Homer emails me this press release that he got a work about our areas Jimmy John's, a submarine chain here, is doing $1 subs and sandwiches. $1 for a lunch! Come on who could turn that up? Well, when Mr. Bacon Bring Em' Homer got home, he asked if this deal could possibly be an exception to our Anti-Consumerism pledge. "Well, NO!" I told him, "even if it's an awesome deal." As he left for work this morning, temptation in his mind, no lunch bag in hand...As if he thought that would just get by me. This is a family pledge for our benefit...how much can we save this month and $1 is not just pennies around here! We can do it and though temptation has entered my mind, it is our first week. So with 26 days to go, we are not going to fail on our first week! We just can't. The kids and I are getting out of the house today for a play date, so, we will waste some gas to bring him lunch and it won't be Jimmy John's.

Day 3: Consumerism almost gets the best of me

This morning began as the epitome of epic failure and it all started oh at about midnight. So as I told the world that we were pretty much out of diapers yesterday, what I failed to note was the 6 that I thought we had was actually 3 which dwindled down to 1 come morning. So last night we attempted the cloth diapers on the baby and well, the first one went on great, no problems there. Both and I mean both of my children decided somewhere the universe told them that they wanted to stay up and wait for Mr. Bread Winner to come home from a long day of elections. So the baby made it until 11:45 and the 3 year old made it until about um...3 minutes after he walked in the door. So just after midnight in the land of should be all peace, love and quietness the baby woke in the nice placid way he does, and needed to be taken up to the crib. But apparently that notion was nowhere in his little mind. Mr. Bread Winner sweetly rocked him beside the crib in usual daddy fashion and normally that works to get this little one back to the land of sweet dreams. Nope. Not today. After a diaper change and 30 minutes of the purple cry, we gave in...we thought that since it was not a-typical of him something might just be wrong...out comes comfort boobie or CB as it is referred to around our house. All being right with the world again after another 1/2 hour the baby was finally fast asleep in the crib.

DUN DUNT DUN....

The batteries in the smoke detectors start going off a couple of hours later and the whole house is up well before the sun even has the chance of rising on the horizon. Mr. Bread Winner teaches what he thought was the right smoke detector a lesson...Nope...Monk as we call our 3 year old wants to get up and watch TV and the baby, we call him Gator is wailing. We typically don't let Monk watch that much TV and well the sun isn't even awake so maybe he will fall back to sleep...WooHoo after 5 minutes the Gold medal goes to Chez Stoneford, but Gator on the other hand not so easy. Upon closer look at our little cherub, he is SOAKED, and so is the crib! We changed him, brought him into our bed for some CB and back to sleep we all went.

DUN DUNT DUN...

We woke to a pee soaked Gator again. We didn't think we had been doing anything wrong, but again maybe because he had eaten so much over the course of the night...Got up changed everything and the Gator came down stairs, put him on the floor and since he is doing the scoot roll thing, he was having fun. I walked in the living room after giving Monk his breakfast to SQUISH! My carpet is wet. Ok now my own tears have started to come down...Mommy meltdown before noon. 2 beds and now the carpet. What were we doing wrong?

Did you hear that toilet flush, because Consumerism was beginning to get the best of me by now and I was fully prepared to go and buy those diapers that I forcibly did not buy yesterday. 1 disposable left so I called for HELP!!! I took that 1 disposable and started to put it on the Gator and then guess what? The freaking tab broke on the one side deeming it useless. So at the advice of a friend, DUCT TAPE to the rescue. (I will ad in she offered to go to the store and buy me a pack of Diapers!) Now Mr. Bread Winner is an Eagle Scout so we had to have it just lying around right? No freaking duct tape! By this time patience was not getting the best of me and well I took that broken last disposable put the Gator in it and put a cloth diaper over it. It just had to work until something. I went to the store or just got rescued from my pee floating island.

Knock Knock...Who's there?

There I stood with my hair a mess, smelling horribly in my jammies that smelled from the puddle, eyes puffy and just losing it. The same friend that had given me the Cloth Diapers came knocking Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha in hand, she handed it over and graciously gave me a hug! Apparently I was supposed to use these things called Diaper covers on some of the diapers that she had given me. And well they were not anywhere to be found in the bag!

So to sum it all up, Consumerism Diverted for another day, Cheers for a friend with Starbucks to the rescue. Now where was there room in my morning for those BonBons? or my afternoon of cleaning, scrubbing? All for the love of my children. All for the love of my children :)

Totals for the day:

Consumerism: 0
Us:1

Day 2: Consumerist Challenge & Decluttering

A few more disclosures for you on our Consumerist Challenge.

My husband and I came up with this idea while driving to the zoo this weekend and we realized that in our thrifty ways we had enough potatoes in the freezer that we could probably eat them for 2 months straight. Ok, they were a really good deal here at our local Harris Teeter, and well I LOVE coupons, so that made them an even better deal. Who can pass that up! So no we did not make this huge gigantic trip to the grocery store to "stock up" on what we would need to get us through this challenge. But we are not seeing it as a challenge but as a way to clean up and go through those little dark places that have been hiding things that we have chosen just to ignore they exist and choose a much simpler... well quicker route. We will also not be cashing in any gift cards either! So no temptation there!

On the No Spending $$$ on gifts part, I believe we happened to forget that our Anniversary is in a week and well, we are going to have to get creative. Who needs a store bought card or another spa gift certificate to add to the pile that I have been collecting dust for the past three years and have never "cashed" in on. Frankly, I just have never had the time to use them. I seem to use the the excuse that Mr. Bread Winner works odd hours and well I can't fit it in on those furlough days. Well sometimes that is totally true but the real thing is...I would just rather spend the time with my kid and my husband out in the backyard tossing around a ball than get a massage. Crazy huh? Just don't let him know that though incase I would like a mommy free day!

Also, I think I forgot to mention that Mr. Bread Winner's birthday is at the end of the month and well creative $$ Free. Ideas are welcome and would be greatly appreciated. Fortunately, I have a couple of weeks to think on this!

So how did Day 2 of our Consumerist Challenge go?

Well we started the day with 6 diapers left in the bin...DUN, DUNT, DUN... oh no! Did we have to go to Target? Temptation starts to set in and well we got in the car we needed out of the house anyway. But we did not spend any $$$, we actually walked out with money! Yay for returns. I had been meaning to get around to returning a few packages and a box of diapers that the baby has out grown. I also need to get to BJ's to return 2 boxes of Pampers since my son has become allergic to them and does better with Seventh Generation, but we left those for another day.

What better way to get the use of space out of the top of the closet and de-clutter! But to reduce our reliance on having to buy buy buy more diapers (plus I didn't bring a coupon, and I can't just exchange and re-buy something when I have a coupon to save $1-3 off even if that money was on a merchandise credit...). A friend of mine had given me her new-age cloth diapers when I was pregnant and well we are going to give them a go and just use disposables when we are out of the house on weekends. So no new diapers entering our home...today!
       
          Cha-Ching light bulb goes on in my head for the November 1st Challenge:
          Disposable vs. Fuzzy whatcha-ma-call-its.

On the other note, it's been raining outside all day long and well with 2 kids in tow there wasn't a debate in my head of walking the 3 mile trek to Target and saving the gas. So we drove to and fro. Gas decrease. 28 days left and we have Tot Sports time starting this Friday and all subsequent Fridays for 2 months. Going to have to Carpool. Fortunately we are doing this with a friend and her son and they have a car that can fit my 2 car seats along with her 1 and my heiny in it too!

For Supper we are having some company over! Yay for Elections and a Business trip, "We" well the kids and I will be joined by a friend and her son! We actually really enjoy daddy free dinner nights. The kids make a royal mess, but we get to just have an evening play date. So on the menu is some chili pulled from the deep freeze and those dreaded potatoes (tonight's..Tater Tot's) that have to be gone through!

Totals for the day:

Consumerist Challenge: 0
Us: 1
$0 spent!!!!

Consumerist Challenge day 1

Well there goes day 1 of our Consumerist Challenge of not spending any money for 30 days. We did not leave the house at all today. Yeah for saving $$$ on gas! We cooked dinner and have just enough in left overs for my 3 year old for lunch tomorrow. He really like the new recipe I concocted and has had 3 helpings!

So tonight's dinner, whole wheat rotini with shredded chicken in an italian cream sauce! Sounds yummy right? Guess what it took 2 minutes to prepare and 13 minutes to cook! Whoa, for faster than take out! Not to mention it probably cost us about .35 to make!

Day 1: Cleaning up our Home life

So as I mitigate our new quest of changing the way we do things in our world and our home, we are starting small. Today's is to start a month long challenge and pick a room to de-clutter.

Our 30 Day Challenge: Cut out Consumerism Spending
Day 1 De-Cluttering: the 1/2 bath

I know what you are thinking, what are they thinking, de-cluttering a 1/2 bath? Are you freaking kidding me? Well no. Trying to incorporate adding just one more thing into our world and schedule is like moving a mountain here at Chez Stoneford. We have a very busy schedule from home preschool and making baby food, laundry, cleaning, scrubbing, learning and playing that just adding a small thing to our Monday agenda will be huge. So we will start small. Granted we don't have a ginormous house, but we have 3 bedrooms 2.5 bathrooms, an office or Man Cave, storage room, a play area, kitchen, living lounge and a 2 car garage. All that could benefit from de-cluttering. To reduce our carbon foot print, we are planning on recycling the things that can not be used anymore, utilizing our local freecycle, craigslist and mission. 

Our 30 day goal: Cut out Consumerism...All $$ comes in except for the bills going out

We as a family have decided that we need to cut out our consumerism for 30 days. This means no eating out, eat what we have in the fridge & freezer, dip into our deep freeze and go through and make our meals using up what ever we have in our pantry and stock pile. Good bye gifts, stocking up on stuff that is on sale! If anything does come up we will just have to get creative. We will spend $15 a week on milk and produce, but everything else but paying the bills is off limits unless it is on gas for Mr. Bread Winner to get to and from work. $15 you say, well we need milk and we buy 2 gallons a week so there goes $6, and I make my own baby food. So here it goes. I have 1/2 a tank of gas in my car, 2 adults, a 6 mo old, a 3 year old, 2 dogs and 11 cats (we foster on our own dime for food & litter). Will not dip into any other money for 30 days. Lets see exactly how much money we can save.

Exceptions to our rule: IF anyone needs to go to the doctor.

Life's Overhaul

So for the past three weeks, I have looked and I mean really looked at what has been going on in our lives for our family of four. Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) of 2 young children I already move non-stop. Some people, and yes sometimes I call out my own family members on this, think all SAHM does all day is sit around eating BonBons and watching Oprah all day long. Well in todays age of reality TV, let me tell you I am not one of those Real Housewives of where ever. We are just your normal typical American Family. We strive to give our children the best we can, spend as much time as a family we can and make do with what we have. So how am I fitting in time to write this blog? Honestly, I am writing this in little minute spurts, so I may seem scattered at times, but just bear with me!

My goal over the course of 365 days is to completely overhaul our life...for the better. This means nurturing our children, decluttering our consumerist outlook and home, eating well, going green as much as we can, paying off debt, and accomplishing this on our meager budget. I am going to lay it all out there for the world to see. So that we can accomplish our goal and well have people that are "watching" so we stick to it. Each month we will conquer a feat in our lives, while reducing our carbon foot print!

So here we go!